confessional joys and secret resistance
making lists of the little things, that together with all of us, get us not only to survival but to real change.
This morning, as I sat down to write at my desk here in Catalunya, Spain, I took a look at the new releases on Spotify and was excited to discover a new single by Olive Klug. I without hesitation pressed play on that new song, “Train of Thought,” and immediately and I mean immediately I felt my shoulder muscles relax, my breath get deeper, and little pings of happiness went off in my brain. And oh, friends, do we need those little pings these days. I am a sucker for female twangy folk music, like Olive, like May Erlewine, and of course their predecessors, the queens of folk, Indigo Girls. I know they border on country music, of which I as a child of Iowa resist with nearly all of my being, I confess that they just make me smile. I realized that, in these dark political days–which for everyone except the rich white cis Christian or Christian-faking male, means dark personal days as well–we are in need of things that make us smile, to get us through. And we need to stop feeling like they are confessions, these little quirky joys.
We also need little ways to exert our resistance. Especially on days when it feels like we can’t do anything about what’s happening, we need reminders that we can still resist. And that all those little resistances add up to a big strong resistance when we stand up together. We need those collectively powerful little sneaky middle fingers, pushing against the assumption that rich white cis Christian or Christian-faking men can just do whatever they want, with our bodies, with our livelihoods, with our children’s safety, with our freedoms, with our communities’ safety nets.
So, I’ll make my list, and then you share yours, and well we will keep ourselves moving forward with these confessional joys and secret resistances–neither of them now very secret.
Joy:
The aforementioned twangy female folk music like Olive Klug
Mechanical keyboards with thocky sounds. Mine is the Aula F99 Pro, with blue sea whale switches.
Toasty cheesy bread: currently the combo is a normal old baguette with the cheap grocery store tierna manchego cheese. The trick is a tiny bit of olive oil drizzle first, and a little sprinkle of my salt/pepper/garlic powder everyday seasoning.
Watching children’s movies with my daughter. Currently on a kick of going through the Hayao Miyazaki films. Ponyo is a favorite.
Driving through the hills to a nearby town for pollo a l’ast (spanish rotisserie chicken) on a sunday morning
Walking just outside of town, sitting down on a rock, and drawing what is around me, if even just for five minutes.
Resistance:
Using the Amazon app as a shopping list for independent used bookstores.
Encouraging strangers that yes, it is possible to move away, not for everyone but it is more possible for more of you than people realize. Living proof here and love answering people’s questions.
Sharing political information on my Stories on Instagram even though it’s not “on brand” for an art account to be sharing an onslaught of political activism.
Designing art journaling workshops and working with local farmers here to be able to hold them out in the middle of their olive groves.
Providing the acceptance, health care, and encouragement that my daughter needs to live a beautiful life that our current administration seems hellbent on eradicating. I’m hellbent on her flourishing.
Friends, it is going to take both joy and resistance to survive these days. I am surprised at how much I have been unable to detach from the country I moved away from- and I’m still trying to find the balance between keeping up to date on what’s happening back there, and letting myself enjoy where I am while still doing what I can to resist. So here I am, in need of the joy and the resistance, daily, and reminding myself that the little micro personal life options are, alongside your own joys and resistance, what add up to real change.
Love your posts! Thank you for sharing (we also share a mutual friend, Nona :)
Before hunkering back down in Michigan shortly before Covid, I was a full-time nomad/artist/photographer in my 50’s (now 60’s) for almost 4 years. It was super easy to find those joys, both big and little, while vagabonding around Australia, SE Asia, and Europe, but now that I’ve been back in my hometown (where I never expected to live again) for over 6 years, and amidst this dreadful political sh*tshow, it is more of a challenge. Hiking in nature is my go-to, whether a wooded park or the manicured Meijer Gardens or a powder-sand beach on Lake Michigan. I always find a big boost of happiness to share with others through my images. That, and books, and long walks, and time spent making art with my 6 year old granddaughter (the main reason I came back to the US and am still here). Resistance? Postcards and phone calls and trying to talk sense into my 1 relative and 1 long-time friend who seem to have been brainwashed, though that last may be an impossible effort.
Best of luck with your retreats! I would love to hear more :)