giving it all away.
the less i have, the less i need.
just recently, a friend and i were talking about how i’ve been slowly giving away nearly all my earthly possessions over the last six months- all my kitchen dishes and pans, nearly all my books, nearly all my…. everything. my friend thinks she wouldn’t know where she would even start to decide which things to keep and which to give away, get rid of, sell…
“you must have to just get ruthless,” she said, as if it were a hard thing. and, yes, I agreed, you do have to get ruthless. but the ruthlessness is within yourself: what am I actually so attached to that I can’t have that object in my life? what are my needs, what are my wants, what really matters? you get ruthless about your value system.
very soon, it even starts getting enjoyable to be ruthless— when you realize how many people are enjoying inheriting your things, and quite a lot at that. i have experiences of exuberant exclamations as a friend found a book in my piles they’ve always wanted, or a favorite author having written a story they hadn’t read yet.
another friend was thrilled about a pair of red boots. she promised to put them to good use, an excitement at such perfect red boots (yes, they were indeed perfect, but I had for some reason stopped wearing all my boots for quite a while now, and so those perfect boots were just sitting in the back of the closet, unused and under-appreciated). they had a new life with someone who couldn’t wait to wear them all the time, make them her signature piece. and those red boots? those red cowboy boots designed by Carlos Santana, yes of the famous band Santana? they are definitely “signature piece” boots.
and then there is the story of the young woman whose grandpa, at age 82, still loved to bake, and had always wanted a KitchenAid stand mixer. because I was selling mine below what i could have gotten for it, he would finally at 82 to get to realize that precious little dream.
these moments make it so enjoyable to let go of nearly all your material possessions. i witnessed so much joy in others receiving them, it became a gift to both of us.
now in these final days, i am once again going through all my earthly possessions, one last time: the swing dress that fits perfectly but has bromine stains from the pool. the extra toiletries that i thought i would use before we left. the quilt i thought i wanted to bring with me but decided to pass on to the next generation in grandma downing’s family. even books will be culled down once again. as i have been living in temporary spaces with most of these things packed away, i’ve been given enough time to realize i don’t really need them after all. and so, this week i will be going through all of it again, until we get down to two suitcases and two carry-ons each. all our possessions going with us on the plane, minus a painting or two to be shipped.
and i know, i know, that sounds awful to most of you. but i promise: it feels so good.
come to the shindig
we’re having a little farewell party at the studio at the end of the month- you should join us. rumor is i’ll be in the giving mood that night, too. and there will be cake.
Bechiri Farewell Shindig
1111 Godfrey Ave SW Suite 315
Saturday, June 29, 7-10 pm
